I loved Lassie. Still do.
But basing the decision to add a dog to your family on her you might find a lot of class actions suits popping up for false advertising. (“She” was actually a “he”, let the jury note.) The same goes for Benji, Toto and many other celebrity dogs, short Beethoven and Hooch who weren’t afraid to air their dirty laundry on the big screen. My guess is that if we got them all on a reality show together (think Celebrity Big Brother for dogs), the numbers of adoptions and puppy purchases would decrease as it would reveal the less lovely side of dogs — even the for the cream of the crop.
It’s kept pretty hush-hush and you only really find out about this dark side of pet ownership after you are already invested. Thank goodness!
But, here’s the cold hard truth — and if you don’t want your significant other to hear these spoilers because they are on the fence as it is — close the browser now.
Okay, here goes:
…need I mention that the long, luscious fur of hers is less dreamy when said Revenge has left remnants behind?
What about Timmy’s mom lovingly petting Lassie only to find little tiny, black guests crawling all over her lovely pink belly? And, in turn, having to fumigate the house of a flea infestation. That episode probably didn’t make the cut.
Timmy wakes – it’s always in the middle of the night – to a sound unlike any other. The sound seems to be revving up in intensity and Timmy realizes that it’s coming from Lassie on the floor.
“Hey girl! Are you okay?”
Lassie is hunched over and her whole body is rolling with each increasingly loud convulsion. Her body looks like she’s doing some gritty depiction of “the wave”. She is clearly working on bringing something up from the base of her body.
“Mom! Something is wrong with Lassie!”
Mom comes rushing in to see the pinnacle of the event where, out of Lassie’s mouth, drops an object surrounded by a slimy, yellow liquid. There, on the rug – it’s always on the rug – is a carcass of what? We do not know. But it clearly did not sit well with Lassie’s tummy upon ingestion.
Now, please don’t misunderstand, this list is not to discourage dog ownership. I wouldn’t choose differently and really, I couldn’t imagine my house without a dog. I just fully believe that when you make the commitment to bring a dog into your family, you are agreeing to love and take care of them, for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, and for cuddling and for eye boogers for the rest of their life. It’s good to be forewarned. For other good examples, I recommend http://www.dogshaming.com.