I did something massively stupid this Christmas.
I should preface this by saying that Santa always asks me to pick up all the stocking stuffers, as he needs to spend more time delivering to children than to us. He makes sure that I buy things for my husband and vice versa, but he never mentions our dog, Eddy. Usually, I find that perfectly normal, but this year, for some reason, I thought Santa was overlooking my little brown creature, so I purchased a bone and a toy.
Eddy doesn’t really play with toys, so I just bought him a lime green and purple flying squirrel chew toy for him to stare at. The bone is fine, but he doesn’t know when it’s Christmas, and I could have spent that money at a more fiscally responsible time of year. Honestly, I just wanted the stockings to look nice.
So I stuffed our stockings before Christmas so I wouldn’t forget, and they looked lovely. They hang in our window above our radiator (a place where Eddy likes to rest) as we don’t have a mantle, and that seemed as good a spot as any. The next day, I did a final lap of shopping and met my husband for lunch. We came home together and found some destruction in our place. Eddy’s stocking was torn and chewed and the bone I had placed in there was nowhere to be found. However, the packaging was placed beautifully askew next to the remains of his pretty, dog-themed stocking. The toy was completely untouched.
Then we walked into the living room to see our stocking hanger completely broken (it’s in the shape of reindeer head, which now only has one antler to its name.) My husband’s stocking was fine and intact, but my stocking had been shredded and most of its “stuffers” had been strewn about. We have this weird tradition of putting Reese’s Trees in the stockings, along with chapstick (clearly also super delicious), so those two items were all over the house in various states of consumption. Eddy clearly thought it was Christmas as soon as we walked out the front door.
Needless to say, next year Eddy won’t be getting anything in his stocking. I will give him a bone while my husband and I open presents and stockings, just like Santa intended.